all content by chad slacker copyright 2001-2004. don't steal, dude.


the chad slacker diaries

because living in a house with babes and hot tubs and lots of money isn't as awesome as it sounds...

6/15 -- i get mail, yo.

picture of chad at computer

so, some of y'all have been sending me mail. i don't really know what y'all want me to do about it, but i was thinking maybe you were into a "Dear Chad" kind of thing, sort of like "Dear Abby" except cool, because dear abby is boring and besides i think she's dead and it's not even her writing that stuff anymore, yo. that sucks.

i got this letter from this dude and he sounds kinda messed up to me, so i'm gonna do his letter first. cause he needs help.

My name is Dr. Benson. Head of Operation - Bank for International Settlement Spain. Sometime in 1986, a certain man Mr. MARIO VAUPEL brought a luggage marked family treasure to me for safe-keeping in my bank. I met the man in 1980 in America and he introduced himself as a SHIP CAPTAIN. We became intimate more when he realized my profession, there and then, he informed me about the consignment. However, I did not take it so serious not until he brought the box to my office.
I assisted him in depositing the treasure and CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT issued to him. However, he saw me as someone trustworthy and decided to hand-over the document to me for safe-keeping. He left back to his country, though he is always on the Sea being a Sailor. All our correspondence was through lephone.Our discussion stopped since last year when I called his telephone number, and behold someone else had bought over the telephone; the new subscriber told me that Mr. MARIO died along-side, his wife and only two children at the World Trade Centre during the BIN-LADEN bomb - blast, in America. This news shocked me so much that MR. MARIO did not leave any of his contact address or next of kin, and since then all plans to trace any of his relatives proved abortive.
Honestly, I became confused, and resorted to informing my colleague in the office, who suggested that we should open the box a little to know the content proper. The box was carefully opened and GUESS WHAT? BILLS OF ONE HUNDRED UNITED STATE DOLLARS, denomination carefully defaced. I and my colleague agreed and secretly took the box out from the bank. We have concluded plans to invest the money total - FIFTEEN Million (USD) out of Spain and required an ssistance from a Would-be Trustworthy Over-Seas Partner. If you can assist us, I and my colleague has agreed to give you 25% of the total sum. Be rest-assured that the transaction is risk-free and your urgent response is highly needed. So we can look for another person.reply me with my private email address.
Best regards,

dear doc:

yo. so, do i have this right? you did it with another dude who's a captain on a ship because he was all into you being the head of a bank or something? and then he died and only left you a hundred dollars because he was a cheapass? that sucks and all, but i'm not sure why you're telling me. kinda too much information, y'know?

if you're still bumming about him being dead, you should go have a drink. that's what i do when shit gets me down. what else can you do, really?

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